bipolar x 10

My face changes,

My smile changes,

My mood changes,

My mind changes,

My blood changes,

My soul changes.

all this time? always.

Those blue green eyes never leave,

The memories don't fade away,

It's a full payment to my pain,

A prayer that you would come home. 

There are words in this wind tonight,

Pleading me to look at the swinging lights,

Somewhere I've found compassion for my soul,

Placed a hand on my heart chanting 'no more'.

I have had conversations with myself,

I've tried to break away from within,

I've tried to reason with the anxiety,

Unfortunately it's found a home.

I'll rationalize till it's infuriating,

I'll clutch my chest and scream it out,

I'll let my eyes burn from tears till I'm blind,

But I won't stop grieving till I'm fine.

I'll cut out this piece from my body's soul,

No i won't preserve it but simply let it rot,

I'll bury it underneath one of the autumn trees,

Where you and I had our last moment of peace. 

hitting a little small

Today after I woke up I went for a walk,

I stepped on a stone, the pointy end up,

Today while i got off my bike,

My coat pocket got stuck and ripped,

Today while I looked up at the sunny sky,

A bird decided that my face was it's business,

Today when i tried to laugh again,

The mirror decided to cry and fog up.

Soulplay

I'm a hundred people in one,

No, maybe a thousand at war,

Together we internalize and reflect,

Appearances and fitfull exits,

Taking forms and filling roles,

Not just alter egos but cordial souls,

Polite and accepting of each other,

Prattling scripted lines like defeated poets,

colors brilliant under the spotlight,

Purposes neither wrong nor right.