Tuesday, 22 July 2025

beauty on my face

I've got dirt on my face
The kind that makes me beautiful 
It's the ground where my feet left impressions 
It's the water that never really cared the colour of my skin
It's the breeze that carried spice from my mother's hair
It's the ether left by my father on that extra tip to the gardener 
I'm the clay from the earth
Where the streets carried warmth and  laughter 
Where the ice gola left a chill and a fever
Where grandmas got together in the burning heat
Shredding a rumor over their cup of chai and pumpkin seeds
I've got ash on my face
The kind from my nani's chula
Its the kind that shone like a beacon in broken homes 
The kind that satiated hunger and damned souls 
The kind in my amma's soot tattoo that read her name
The kind that was left when my mother stepped out of the fire
I've got dirt on my face
The only kind that is mine. 





Sunday, 20 July 2025

I'm still a girl

I'm still that girl
But i will keep lying
about how the heart breaks 
the lost pictures from the future
the wedding song we knew we would play
the colour of lazy summer flowers
how the sun shone on our faces 
the wars we fought and we lost
the hurt and pain is melting
merging into an awakening 
i wish my energy was otherwise spent
but each silent moment brings me there
I'm still that girl
but I do keep lying
I don't know any other way forward
I let this current sweep me onwards 
staying still takes more of me than dancing 
to the notes of an uncertain certainty 
I like it when my feet bleed 
it means I played my part flawlessly well
filling another box with memories I don't want
hiding it away like it means something
I'm still that lost girl
But lying comes so easy
this ignorance is powerful
this rock which I call home
I'm still that girl
I'll keep lying
these are the stories I'll tell myself 
to stay afloat and to stay fearless 
I'm still a girl
I'll keep lying. 


Tuesday, 27 May 2025

a piece of Beauty

I'm seeing the most beauty in voids left from the past,
A smiling face here, and grateful laugh there,
People are resilient, climbing rocks they know hurt,
Finding company in solitude like it's Plan B,

I'm finding perspective hidden in a blotch of paint
Stepping away to observe the canvas that is life 
A blue there, a yellow here, mostly colours of feeling,
A fickle life for the feckless, yet redemption at every corner

Don't ask me where my foot is, it's neither here or there,
Life isn't supposed to be understood, it's supposed to be found out,
Like the ants building homes and walking in a line,
Like you sinking in a moment that was unplanned,

My father use to say that death is the only truth,
But the more I live, I find life harrowingly honest,
Piece by piece we all build forts and call it life,
In the end aren't we all just consciousness experiencing ourselves. 





Monday, 3 March 2025

Mondays

I stopped writing love songs
They were only meant for lovers 
Believers who live in another's shoe
Doers who didn't ask for their due 

But isn't everything stagnant here
Yearning and doubts laden tears
Gently drifting towards dullness
Even the air refuses to change

Mold in dark corners and our words
Meaningless like the unwritten letters
Haunting the same spaces of our mind
All living things in this home that are dying 

Old overlooked stones unable to budge
Seen all seasons like forgotten drudges
The love songs we thought we knew
Were only meant for lovers who were true. 





Saturday, 14 December 2024

December

Let's write poetry 
I've taken a deep breath
I'm aware that I'm between spaces
Like the entirety of my whole life
Moving between what is and what it could be
Fighting it all within frozen times 
But still I need to look up
Remind myself that I've a choice
In between is the 'letting go'
Do you see the space of existence 
Where you are free
I do, I have, it's just is
There is the brown leaf against a grey sky
There is a door too big for the house
There is a writers block in my mind
There is Love in spaces I haven't reached 
All questions seemed to be answered 
I'm not struggling anymore
I'm not present but I'm still here
I'm where giving permission to myself is true
The only reality is what I see
And what I see, my heart manifests
But my gut and instincts deny
And my mind accepts a challenge 
I'm done for the day
I'm done thinking about the nature of things
The grey sky and the empty trees 
I'm ready to let go and yet believe. 

Friday, 1 November 2024

LOVE

Love
the kind that makes your stomach drop 
Love
the kind that makes your chest crumble 
Love
the kind that makes you shine under your own light
Love
that makes believe in fairytales again
LOVE
that doesn't stop abruptly 
LOVE
that doesn't frighten you
LOVE
that asks if your are feeling loved
LOVE
that doubts the doubts
Love
the kind that questions the reality
Love
the kind that isn't just an idea
Love
the kind that makes the blank spaces feel full
Love
that answers every heart call. 

Monday, 30 September 2024

the only way I know

I love you the only way I know
A reflection of me onto you
I love you the only way I know
A shadow of kindness in your eyes
I love you the only way I know
A smile of the known and unknown
I love you the only way I know
A jargon that escaped the moment
I love you the only way I know
Frustrations flying high as we scream
I love you the only way I know
Melting into each other after the inferno
I love you the only way I know
Not knowing and doubting all of it
I love you the only way I know
That we are here now and trying at love
I love you the only way I know
Confused, puzzled, yet sure it is the truth.