Tuesday, 22 July 2025

beauty on my face

I've got dirt on my face
The kind that makes me beautiful 
It's the ground where my feet left impressions 
It's the water that never really cared the colour of my skin
It's the breeze that carried spice from my mother's hair
It's the ether left by my father on that extra tip to the gardener 
I'm the clay from the earth
Where the streets carried warmth and  laughter 
Where the ice gola left a chill and a fever
Where grandmas got together in the burning heat
Shredding a rumor over their cup of chai and pumpkin seeds
I've got ash on my face
The kind from my nani's chula
Its the kind that shone like a beacon in broken homes 
The kind that satiated hunger and damned souls 
The kind in my amma's soot tattoo that read her name
The kind that was left when my mother stepped out of the fire
I've got dirt on my face
The only kind that is mine. 





Sunday, 20 July 2025

I'm still a girl

I'm still that girl
But i will keep lying
about how the heart breaks 
the lost pictures from the future
the wedding song we knew we would play
the colour of lazy summer flowers
how the sun shone on our faces 
the wars we fought and we lost
the hurt and pain is melting
merging into an awakening 
i wish my energy was otherwise spent
but each silent moment brings me there
I'm still that girl
but I do keep lying
I don't know any other way forward
I let this current sweep me onwards 
staying still takes more of me than dancing 
to the notes of an uncertain certainty 
I like it when my feet bleed 
it means I played my part flawlessly well
filling another box with memories I don't want
hiding it away like it means something
I'm still that lost girl
But lying comes so easy
this ignorance is powerful
this rock which I call home
I'm still that girl
I'll keep lying
these are the stories I'll tell myself 
to stay afloat and to stay fearless 
I'm still a girl
I'll keep lying.